In the last post, I explained how modern society, despite the fact that we're safe and prosperous, is deeply unfulfilling. I went on to hypothesize this lack of fulfillment that manifests as stress, anxiety, depression, and a host of other problems, can be remedied by doing the kind of stuff our grandparents did. Or, going back farther in our history, our hunter-gatherer ancestors.
Primal shit makes us happy in a way the newest iPhone or a trip to the mall can't.
So what is the solution to this problem?
Tribes.
Big surprise, huh? Now, before I get to the meat and potatoes of the hypothesis, I need to give an operational definition. What exactly do I mean by "tribes"? I'll define a Tribe as a diverse group of people between five and 150 who are closely bonded socially and, potentially economically, who are are working towards a shared future goal or goals. If you really want to dig deeper on the hypothesis that led to this definition, read this post.
In our modern society, this kind of Tribe is exceedingly rare. Maybe these exist in small fraternal organizations, or maybe in some religious groups or congregations. Maybe even in the military in "company" units.
I also need to define what ISN'T a tribe. This includes all kinds of organizations that feels like a tribe, and certainly bring out tribal behaviors. But they're not actually tribes. In fact, they're often organizations that are specifically using our brain's tribal bias against us so the organization can make money, gain power, or exploit us in some other way. Examples of these pseudo-tribes include:
- Political parties - Democrats and Republicans. And even Libertarians.
- Sports team fans - Broncos and Cardinals fans. Lions fans are an exception.
- Cults - Jonestown, Heaven's Gate, #MAGA supporters
- Multilevel marketing scams - Amway and Herbalife
- Consumer products - Apple, Gucci, and Tickle Me Elmo
Generally, all of these groups use your emotions to exploit you in some way, usually by creating a sense of loyalty by playing on our need to belong. Because emotion drives cognition, we don't recognize how these kinds of organizations manipulate us. The formula is deceptively simple and stupidly effective:
Elicit emotion -> Attach way to resolve emotion to group membership = making of a pseudo-tribe
If you need a real-world example of this, just look at how many people genuinely believe in that objectively-ridiculous "Q-anon" conspiracy theory. And how that belief kinda ruined their lives.
Anyway, that's what a Tribe is and is not.
How Did I Stumble Upon This Idea?
I discovered the power of tribes kind of by accident. When Shelly and I started running long races, we developed a small group of training partners who regularly trained together, hung out together, and "crewed and paced" each other when one of us ran a long race. And it was awesome! Just being with the group and being a contributing member was itself deeply fulfilling. Eventually we all kinda went in different directions, but that group planted the seed.
A few years later, Shelly and I picked up our next hobby - jiu jitsu. The same sort of thing happened. We developed a small group of regular training partners who trained and occasionally hung out together. We were kinda like a family. It was a completely different dynamic, but elicited the same feelings.
Finally, I started a male-only Facebook group based on some of the ideas I've written about over on my Man Camp blog. Because it was Internet-based, it had a very different feel than our previous "tribes", but it still had many of the same dynamics.
That group led to the earliest version of my tribal hypothesis, which ultimately led to the idea of starting a real-life group that wasn't just centered around some random recreational activity, but actually trying to develop a tribe that emulated the kinds of tribes that defined our ancestors' societies. In the four or so years since I wrote the original version of that post, I've been on a path to make this come to fruition. Which is the explicit purpose of THIS project.
One of the two goals of this project is to bring a group of like-minded, ideologically-diverse people together to help each other grow as individuals, help the Tribe grow as a collective unit, and help make our community a better place to live for everyone. If the idea works and others replicate it elsewhere, it really could have the power to make our entire world a better place to live. And maybe circumvent some of those psychological and emotional pitfalls I discussed in the first post.
Let's back up a bit, though. What are the positives of belonging to this kind of Tribe? How about the negatives? And why exactly is this Tribe idea potentially revolutionary? Let's get the negatives out of the way first.
The Negatives of the Tribe Idea
This entire project comes with a few caveats, especially for people with particular personality types. While these are not deal-breaker issues, they should be considered in the event anyone reading this wants to try the idea.
First, the members of the Tribe absolutely have to believe in the power of the collective over the power of the individual. Lone wolves who cannot operate as part of a team will note face well in this system of social organization because this requires cooperative interdependence. Everyone has to play a role, and that role has to help the Tribe. So selfish people need not apply.
Second, the Tribe leadership needs to be open-minded, accepting, and have a superior ability to view the world as objectively as possible. And leadership has to be willing to take decisive action for the good of the Tribe, even if it may not be the best decision for every single member. Because these individuals are rare, Tribal leadership probably needs to be made up of a small governing committee or have a single leader who is supported and advised by a trusted group of wise "elders."
Third, the Tribe cannot have toxic members. Members cannot have serious mental illnesses, excessive egos, or no sense of honor. Members cannot be lazy, stir up drama, or have destructive tendencies.
Fourth, the wrong tribal organization model can force you to be too involved. Or not involved enough. Being sucked too deeply into a Tribe can cause you to lose your sense of self. Conversely, if the bond with the tribe is merely a superficial social bond, you won't get any tangible benefits from membership. Threading the needle has been one of my biggest challenges, which is part of the reason I've written about this topic extensively. I need every potential member of our own Tribe to understand what membership in the Tribe means to prevent either of those extremes.
Fifth, the Tribe cannot fall into the trap of becoming a cult. This is a biggie, and perhaps the biggest danger to this entire idea. In psychology, we've long-ago identified how cults form, who forms them, and what methods they use. Here's an excellent discussion. Because cults and the charlatans who start and run them have always been an interest of mine, I've intentionally baked A LOT of safeguards into the design of this project. And if you have aspirations of starting a cult and you're using my info - go fuck yourself.
Okay, so now the good.
The Positives of the Tribe Idea
The Tribal organization model, if done deliberately and correctly, taps into our primal heritage like nothing else. A healthy, productive Tribe has the power to transform every aspect of your life from curing loneliness and giving you a regular social group that could, perhaps, saving you and your family's life in a catastrophe. So what exactly are the benefits?
Dependable mutual aid, support, and protection. Think about how many people you have in your life that you could really rely on in an emergency? Odds are good that number is frighteningly small, especially if you don't have a lot of family members where you live. Now imagine having a whole Tribe of people you could call on for anything. Need a last-minute babysitter? Car break down and you need a ride? Need help moving that grand piano? Society collapsed and you need help protecting your stockpile of pinto beans from roving marauders? The Tribe has your back.
Intimate kinship. We're social animals, and we preform best when we're surrounded by a group of people who we're connected to emotionally. Close friends can be difficult to find, and even more difficult to cultivate and maintain. Especially in our busy, hectic world where work and family have to be high priorities. A Tribe provides many such close friendships. By virtue of the structure of Tribes, maintaining these friendships occurs naturally as part of the Tribe working together, which actually creates more free time for family, etc.
Opportunity to contribute to a meaningful cause beyond yourself, and the ability to see the positive results immediately. As much as Tribal membership GIVES, the real value is what it allows you to CONTRIBUTE. There are precious few things that feel better than making a real difference in people's lives, and a Tribe gives you the power to do just that, not only within the Tribe, but beyond. Better yet, the Tribe itself acts as a megaphone of sorts and amplifies whatever unique contribution you can give the world. As much as this sounds like a pie-in-the-sky hippie rant, I've personally experienced this and it is truly amazing.
Social network of people for fun and recreation. I'm not ashamed to admit I love to play, even as a 40-something year old dude. Science of play aside, taking a playful approach to life just makes everything... better. And this is even greater if you surround yourself with people who love to play. Hell, this is the culture we consciously build at our jiu jitsu gym. A Tribe gives us the opportunity to spend a lot more time having fun with people we care about.
The opportunity to be your authentic self all the time. I've been writing about this idea for a loooong time. Basically, life is too short to put up facades. If we can't be who we genuinely want to be, what the Hell's the point of living? Far too many people bury their real self under a pile of other people's expectations, fear of rejection, or other such nonsense. A Tribe allows to to be your real self. Your authentic self.
Employment network. This isn't typically touted as a feature of Tribes, but damn is it useful. Our fellow Tribe members know us well, which can be great should you need a job. Through friends of friends networks, having a diverse Tribe gives you way more personal connections than you may experience as by yourself.
The opportunity for open, honest discussions. The trust and intimacy enjoyed by the Tribe gives members the perfect platform to have real, sustained discussions on topics that are otherwise hard to discuss with relative strangers. Most therapy is really just a glorified version of paid listening. With a Tribe, you get real people you have a connection with as your conversation partner.
The opportunity to teach and learn. Given our plan involves running an actual school, we're kinda taking this one to a whole new level. Tribe members have skills. Knowledge. Wisdom. The Tribe structure allows the Tribe members to share freely within the group to improve everyone's collective abilities.
Motivation and accountability. Health and fitness "Tribes" are a thing for a very good reason - they help us overcome the inherent limitations we all have. This was one of the best benefits of the Tribes Shelly and I belonged to in the past - they pushed us and held us accountable if we didn't rise to the challenge. This was also a major perk of our Man Camp group. Simply put, humans do better when in groups because of the group.
Collective income generation. Our Tribal model will be explicitly designed as a for-profit entity that benefits the Tribe financially. A beehive of smart people each working in their area of expertise towards a common goal is a powerful force, especially when applied in a way that makes our local communities better places. If that synergy (damn, I hate that word) can be used to financially benefit the individual members of a Tribe and the Tribe as a whole, that's just icing on the cake!
Recognition from people you respect. In an era of participation trophies, real recognition for genuine hard work and actual accomplishment is rare. But getting authentic recognition from people who know and respect you is something that is so rare, many people today have never experienced it. And that's sad. Real recognition is among the most powerful intrinsic motivators. Tribes provide this in heaps.
Improved health. This is a somewhat surprising benefit, but we have good data that strongly suggests being part of a real Tribe has significant health benefits. This makes sense. In yesterday's post, I mentioned how our modern world leads to chronic, low-level stress, which we know is terrible for our health.
The power of the collective, especially for collaborative, creative problem-solving. We all face a litany of problems as we navigate life. We do our best to solve these problems with the limited resources we have available. A Tribe and our collective pool of resources dramatically expands this problem-solving limitation. This specific function of tribes, after all, is THE reason you and I are here right now... every one of our ancestors solve the riddle of survival.
The opportunity for women to bond with other women and men to bond with other men. This is another weird benefit we don't really consider until we look at the nature of male and female friendships. Men are simple. We have men in our Tribe and men from other Tribes. The biggest issue men usually face is simply not having enough time to dedicate to male friendships. For women, it's complicated. In both cases, though, the Tribe provides many opportunities for deep friendships often without the dumbass drama most us us experience without the Tribes.
Opportunity to reach your full potential while helping other reach theirs. This collective self-improvement journey is one of the best life-enhancing aspects of a Tribe. As I mentioned earlier in this post, I did my best work when I was part of a tribe, and we weren't even explicitly trying to help each other beyond finishing races or getting better at choking each other out.
Conclusion
There you go. Those are the pros and cons of Tribes. This was the social organization that allowed our ancestors to survive and thrive, and this is the social organization that will do the same for us.
Primal shit makes us happy in a way the newest iPhone or a trip to the mall can't.
In a future post, I'll talk about the actual dynamics of the Tribe, because we don't need to destroy civilization to capitalize on all the perks listed above.
~Jason
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