How We Use Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to Curate the Tribe

A few days back, we were discussing this post on how we vet new members of the Tribe. Ken, a long-time Facebook friend for whom I respect, asked why we used Brazilian jiu jitsu as part of the process. More specifically, wouldn't that unnecessarily rule out otherwise great candidtes?

Yes. Yes it would. 

But. At the early stages of this project, It's more important to assure new members are a great fit than letting potential great members fall through the cracks. And there's no greater filer for our Tribe than jiu jitsu. Simply put, jits reveals a whole lot about a person in an incredibly short time.

And yes, tolerance of calling the sport "jits" is one of the tests. 

For the uninitiated, if you don't know what "BJJ" is, it's basically a sport where we practice breaking limbs and murdering while wearing sweaty pajamas with a lot of weird patches. Here's a more detailed explanation.

The Mats Don't Lie

A popular idiom states "Martial arts doesn't build character. It reveals character. This is certainly true in jiu jitsu. Here's a rundown of the characteristics I'm looking for in students. Note this is what I look for in potential Tribe members. Just regular students don't need all of these characteristics, though the more they possess, the more intrinsic enjoyment they'll likely receive from training at our gym.

• How do they interact with our team in a stressful environment? Starting jiu jitsu is kinda scary. From the very onset in their first class, we can see how a new student interacts with the collection of diverse personalities that make up our team.
  
• Do they have a tendency to do harm? Do they have psychopathic tendencies? This sport attracts people who want to learn or have an opportunity to hurt people. This is a dangerous sport where NOT harming each other takes effort. The folks who seem to get joy from harming weaker people are revealed almost immediately. And we DO get these people regularly. They're either actively or passively dismissed from the gym depending on their veracity and the degree of danger thy represent.
  
• Are they curious? We're more interested in the curious than most gyms, mostly because we create a culture where learning is an extremely high priority. Curious people thrive in our environment. And I've found curiosity to be an excellent predictor of all kinds of other wonderful traits.
  
• Do they have anger issues? When you start jiu jitsu, you lose. A lot. It's simply the nature of the sport - it's designed to use techniques and leverage to defeat strength and athleticism. As such, experience matters. No matter how big and strong a new student might be, they're going to get tapped by our higher belts. And quite often, even our kids. If you have anger issues, this ALWAYS reveals it.
  
• Do they have a huge ego? This is related to the last point, but specifically determines if the new student possesses humility. Can they accept being at the bottom of the hierarchy, and can they accept being there for months and months?
  
• Do they have a capacity to teach and learn? We use a collaborative learning model where everyone is encouraged to be both teacher and learner, which helps support our development beyond what our coaches teach. We use this model in part because we have a lot of diverse, applicable experiences among members, but it also supports the "School" part of this plan.
  
• How they related to women and kids? This is a specific test for our new male students. As soon as a new student proves conclusively that they have enough emotional control and physical restraint, we have them roll (what we call live almost full-intensity sparring) with our older kids. Since most men generally don't like kids and get kinda weird about rolling with women, it gives us the ability to observe how tolerant they will be in relating to other Tribe members who are different than them. This is a subtle but important thing.
  
• How do they handle adversity? As I mentioned before, new students lose. A lot. If a new student sticks around for six months in this sport, they usually have the drive and determination to tackle damn near anything. We like tough people.
  
• What capacity do they have for leadership? This isn't a deal-breaker (bad leaders still play important roles in our Tribe), but we're always searching for people who possess the raw materials that would allow them to become great leaders. Personally, I habitually surround myself with leaders and generally avoid those who can only follow. My operational definition of leadership is basically what is described in "Extreme Ownership" and "Linchpin."
  
• Cooperativeness versus competitiveness. We're insanely competitive. But we're competitive because we understand it's how we make all of us better, so the potential toxicity of competitiveness is balanced with strong cooperative tendencies. Off the mats, this is exceptionally hard to test. On the mats? It's evident almost immediately.
  
• Do they have a capacity for violence? One of the hallmarks of our gym is a readily apparent culture of kindness and openness. We try to be genuinely good people who are helpful and supportive. But this culture is built on a foundation of most of our members being willing and able to use violence when necessary. This usually manifests when new people mistake our kindness for weakness, and we have to given them a brief glimpse behind the curtain. "If you do anything to harm the team or an individual member of the team, we'll fuck ya up a bit." Violence is always the foundation of civility, whether we're talking about our Tribe, our jiu jitsu team, or society.
  
• Do they understand honor? "Honor" is one of Jack Donovan's Four Tactical Virtues of Masculinity as described in his excellent book "The Way of Men." Basically, "honor" is the process of earning the respect of other men in your Tribe. Given jiu jitsu is a decidedly masculine endeavor (masculine, not male... women do just fine in the sport, but they, too, must understand "honor"), it is an excellent test of a person's capacity for honor. One of the simplest things a student can do to disqualify themselves as a potential Tribe member is to do something that dishonors themselves in the eyes of the rest of our team.
  
• Do they understand male hierarchies? This is closely-related to the last item. Do new students understand how men organize themselves socially, and do they act accordingly? Jiu jitsu is interesting in that belt rank is a pretty decent visual indicator of the hierarchy in the gym context. 
• Do women relate to other women? This one is specifically for the ladies. Our culture is kinda unique in that the women in our gym adopt a bit of the masculine hierarchy structure, but still maintain the dynamics of femininity. In the simplest sense, can women successfully navigate the fickle nature of female kinship in a way that doesn't harm the Tribe or the Team? While understanding women is a stupidly-complex topic that requires a small dissertation to explain, jiu jitsu is a pretty decent way to determine if women can relate to each other.
  
• Do they have the ability to work as part of a team? Jiu jitsu is a sport where you really need solid teamwork chops because we need to trust each other a great deal to avoid injuries as much as possible. As such, students who are not team players wash out quickly, which is super-useful because Tribes, by definition, require teamwork. 
  
• Do they have a sense of humor? We like to laugh, and serious people are a drag. If people don't like to laugh, or oftentimes-crude humor usually drives them away pretty quickly.
• Do they like to have fun? Along the same vein, we really like to have fun. "Play" is one of the foundations of not only our gym culture, but how we approach life. We take our art seriously, but we don't take ourselves seriously. Again, our gym culture weeds out the "chronically-unfun" quickly. 
  
• Are they selfish? Does a student only seem to think of themselves, or do they demonstrate selflessness? Selfish people who are only training for themselves are fine as students, but this is a deal-breaker for Tribe members. Jiu jitsu usually reveals this pretty quickly. 
• Are they passive-aggressive or otherwise emotionally immature? Given jiu jitsu is a combat sport, conflict between members is bound to arise. How people deal with that conflict is an excellent indicator of their emotional maturity, especially when it comes to using passive-aggressiveness. Like selfishness, this is a deal-breaker. 
• Can they pass shit tests? A "shit test" is a test that determines a few different things about a person. The basic framework involves men teasing each other. To pass the test, you tease them back. If you get pissy, defensive, or have any other sort of similar response, you fail. Usually, it's in the context of women assessing the value of men. But in this case, it's assessing whether or not men are tough enough to have each others' backs in dangerous situations. A "fitness test" of sorts. Men (or women) who fail this type of shit test cannot be part of the Tribe. This idea is tied to the reason we teach boys not to cry, why men "bully" other men (and why women bully other women. Spoiler alert... it's because they're viscous), and why modern fourth-wave feminism kinda sucks. 
  
• How resilient are they? Jiu jitsu is a frustrating, difficult sport. You're served up a regular serving of failure and disappointment. People who aren't resilient wash out quickly, usually after only a few weeks. 
• How willing are they to follow and/or police intra-tribal rules and norms? We have rules of conduct, both explicit and implicit. The rules are in place to keep each other safe and to maintain our desired culture. Are students following these rules? And do they show an aptitude for understanding the nuances and motivations behind our rules? And in some cases, are they good at policing the rules in others? The first two are prerequisites for Tribal members. The last one is an added bonus. 
• How willingly do they accept challenges, and how do they approach said challenges? If we give students what amounts to an impossible challenge (like tapping out a higher belt who is clearly better than they are), how do they respond? Do they express self-doubt? Do they accept the challenge, but have reservations? Or do they take a "Hell yeah, I'll do my best!" approach? That latter one is what we're looking for in Tribe members.
• Do they have "gameness"? Gameness is a term used to describe a willingness to keep fighting. Literally and figuratively. It's best measured by a student's willingness to keep trying to accomplish something (like the impossible challenges mentioned in the last point.) Jiu jitsu itself is a sport that demands gameness because, no matter how long you do it, you will fail A LOT. 
• Do they understand the true nature of masculinity and femininity? Even if they can't articulate it, do they have an intuitive sense that these constructs exist and that they're complimentary? While covering this topic in detail would cover several blog posts, the gist has to do with the hypothesis that is the foundation of the Tribe - we need ideological diversity, which starts with having both gender roles represented in adequate numbers. 

 Conclusion

 

So there's the list of all the things we can discern about someone who trains with us. It's a long-ass list, but the sport reveals a lot about people. We could use all kinds of different tools, but this one works exceptionally well for us. As an added bonus, it's also our primary form of recreation. Just training assures we maintain close contact with each other, which is often one of the biggest struggles of curating a Tribe of friends. 

There are countless activities that probably serve the same purpose for anyone interested in this Tribe idea. Many roads lead to Rome. This road just happens to work for us.

~Jason

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