You Get to Set the Rules.

 

Years ago, I wrote a blog post on BRU about Chris Guillebeau. His book "The Art of Nonconformity" was one of the earliest influential books that, ultimately, got me to this project. While Guillebeau talked about a lot of great ideas in that book (many of which are covered in this short PDF), the one that suck the most was the kind of advice that's almost so simple, it never occurs to you:

You don't have to live your life the way people expect you to. 

When I first read that, it was a mind-blowing revelation. I took stock of every aspect of my life, and realized pretty much every decision I had ever made was because someone expected me to make that decision. Needless to say, the last decade has been one long string of pretty damn amazing adventures based on experimental lifestyle design. When you realize there really aren't any rules, you get to make your own. 

That's kinda the point of this current project. Mix equal parts of the lifestyle myself and my family want to live with a genuine desire to solve some tricky social problems and... POOF! We get this project. But this post isn't about this project.

It's about making your own rules. 

You see, society wants us to fit in. Put your head down. Do what you're told. Don't rock the boat. Because society likes predictability. Conformity. Follow the rules. 

And if you don't? Society gives you stern, disapproving looks. Wags a finger. Society may even [gasp!] talk behind your back.  And that's about it.

Turns out society is a bit of a passive-aggressive bitch. 

Which is great you you and me. Because it means there's really nothing stopping us from making our own rules. The rules we want to play by. The rules that work for us.

Yet so very few people actually take that plunge and live the life they want to live. Instead they follow the status quo. And they're miserable.

Why?

I think it's fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of success.

Part of the problem is we imagine this journey to an unconventional life is going to be a lonely journey. Just ourselves and our goofy ideas.

But that's not how it works. Not at all. 

In "Tribes" Seth Godin said "The secret to leadership is simple. Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. People will follow."

When you overcome the fear to try something new, when you venture past "safe" and into "exciting", there will be people, the right people, who follow. And that's your Tribe.

The Two Distinct Reactions

When I describe this project to people, I get two very distinct reactions. This one:

 

 

And this one:
 

There's absolutely no in between.

And that's okay. 

One of the most valuable lessons I learned back in the barefoot running days is that the moment you start making your own rules, most people don't get it. But some do. And you have to trust those few who get it will be your key to changing the status quo. They will be the key to making your own rules.

So stop letting society set the rules that define your life. Become a heretic. Make your own rules. Live the life you want to live. Life is too short to miss out on all the fun.

What do you have to lose?

~Jason

 

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